Monday, August 31, 2009

Food for thought.

I really feel like cooking something right now and I don't know why. I'm hungry.
I want rich chocolate and cream puffs and apple rings with cinnamon anthose german biscuits my great aunt sends over at christmas and honey puff and fluffy pancakes and ferero rochers
/drools, everywhere

Sometimes I feel like

I'm just looking for an excuse to be sad. Which doesn't change the fact that I'm pretending to be sick now because tomorrow is an important anniversary and I know that I'll just want to stay in bed and have a cry about it.

Fuck my life.

Okay. Calm down. Okay. I just need to take it on the chin and put up
with this for a year and a bit. I can do it, then I'll be free. I feel
so weak this morning. Definately should've stayed in bed.

Sunday, August 30, 2009


I frequently find myself wondering how much of the personality I have is because of who I am, and how much of my psyche is just my teenage hormones? I also wonder how much of me is me, and how much is my parents genetics and the way they brought me up. I don't know. I've been overthinking everything tonight and I've had about 47328239 mood-swings just while I was writing this. Fuck, I just want to sleep for 3 months and wake up when I get to finally go to the other side of the world where I belong.

You have no idea

how much I hate seeing you sad.
Chin up, soldier.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

I'm obviously amazing


of me wants to take advantage of being awake so early and go for a run
or something.
60% of me likes bed too much.

Friday, August 28, 2009

My stomach

is going crazy. Backflips and knots, I feel it up around my lungs,
I just thought you should know, because it's taking me ages to get to
the cinema, sjskkdklskdlejju.

Thursday, August 27, 2009


It's still the case, that the only thing you've got is this second.
Right now I'm alive, and if I can enjoy what I'm doing now, if I can
feel that it's worthwhile, that's really all I can ask of it."


I'm getting so frustrated editing this photo!

Re: previous blog

i was right about today.

Just checked out my timetable

today is almost definately not going to be my day.

What I'm doing at quarter past midnight -

writing a very confusing fettucine recipe for home ec and drawing owls
when i get bored. i need to start handling my time better, haha.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I do this instead of writing a history assignment

I'll colour it in once I find my old pencils!

What if

this is all there is.

I miss the days

on the train with Katharine and Jake - when Jake and I would pretend not
to know her when she got on the train, and the way we'd be 'late' to
school at least three times a week, just because we wanted to go buy
chocolate croissants, or whatever.
It really was a great start to the day.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Where are you

where have you gone, where are you going, what have you become
I hate not knowing, I miss you.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Starting from tomorrow -

I'm going to be a better person, you'll see.


"So shines a good deed in an unjust world"



Saturday, August 22, 2009


I knew this'd happen sooner or later

I knew that because I was so deliriously happy in july, pretty soon I'd always be comparing my mood to then. I'm happy now, sure, but not as happy as then. Maybe that was my peak, maybe it's all downhill from here. That's a terrible thing to think. I need to get out of this house. I think I'll make pancakes. My thoughts are all backwards this morning, I don't know. This is my 100th blog.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

I really should be

doing my homework. But my eyelids are heavy, I feel warm from the inside, and I just want to curl up under my quilt. I'm too sleepy to even care about anything else right now. I just want to go to sleep and dream about far away places. Mount gambier.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel safe right now.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I want to paint

something like this, y'know? I want to paint emotion, not a pretty picture.

I'm happy

even though I'm starviiiiing and in a maths test sjrkmjdkl, at least I
have Jack's song stuck in my heaad :D

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I need to

stop waiting for life to come to me, sometimes I really hate being so
shy :/
At least this afternoon was really, really good <3

Saturday, August 15, 2009




My skin is dry, my hair is dead, my makeup is bad, I have itches I can't scratch, I went to 4 photo developing places this afternoon, none of which could have my film developed by tomorrow afternoon, and the world is really going to hell in a fucking handbasket.

Some of my favourite music videos

1 -

2 -

3 -

I'll just add more as I think of them I suppose.

I actually think there's something wrong with my brain

I've been having blonde moments all day, and I just spent about five
minutes staring blankly at a bus timetable.
Don't ask me, I'm just a girl!


001: the 'I love' game
002: Say Anything
003: Maxim Adam Bemis
004: movies that're so stupid they're funny (i.e. Billy Maddison, Dud Where's My Car)
005: being up early enough to watch the sun rise
006: breakfast pizza
007: wierd food combinations that're actually really good
008: Asian photobooths
009: good hair days
010: getting to the bus stop/train station just as the bus/train does
011: walking on the beach at night
012: the night sky (especially in the country)
013: all-nighters
014: late night/early morning d&ms
015: cloudy weather, English weather
016: Noel Fielding's accent
017: Noel Fielding's everything
018: 11:11
019: live music
020: second-hand bookshops
021: Melbourne
022: opp-shops
023: the Number 23 (movie)
024: road trips
025: people who genuinnely don't give a shit about their appearance
027: perfecting songs on the piano
028: the first five seconds of The Word You Wield by Say Anything
029: my cat Hamish
030: the episode of The Mighty Boosh where they're stuck on a desert island with their coconut girlfriends
031: Ikea
032: coffee
033: croissants
034: the lemon meringue pies that my Mum sometimes makes
035: the apple pies my Nan sometimes makes
036: having smooth legs
037: The Perks of Being a Wallflower
038: Canon things
039: my Canon EOS 500 film camera
040: the anticipation of waiting for film to be developed
041: combatting fears
042: Polaroid things
043: thinking about my plans to live in England/Europe as soon as I have the money
044: double German every second Thursday
045: the thought that I have my whole life ahead of me
046: meaningful lyrics
047: random compliments
048: sincerity
049: being happy for no reason
050: the smell of hair dye
051: hair dye that comes with proper rubber gloves, not the shitty ones
052: Ordinary People by Judith Guest
053: being proactive
054: being organised
055: making a good first impression
056: guys that smell like Hugo Boss
057: kissing people with cigarette breah
058: noisy kisses
059: minimalist writing
060: red headed, pale, freckly, skinny, green eyed girls with hair that goes down to the small of their back
061: Sean Hughes
062: Ben Elton
063: celebrities who actually have something to say
064: day time TV
065: late night TV
066: Skins
067: Chris Miles' general outlook on life
068: tuna salad sushi
069: innuendos and insinuation
070: China town
071: Hong Fat BBQ
072: having wierd, elaborate dreams
073: my diary
074: randomly running into people you've been meaning to catch up with
075: changes of plans - for the bette r
076: the atmosphere at the Royal Adelaide Show
077: counting down the days until I go to Hamburg for 10 weeks
078: Ocean Grove
079: being alone sometimes
080: Frankie magazine
081: Hudsons
082: being missed by people
083: feeling wanted
084: feeling accepted
085: incense
086: the pretty parts of the Torrens - near the zoo etc
087: listening Robbie, Mareke and the Doctor while I get ready for school
088: Lindsay "the Doctor" McDougall
089: JJJTV
090: Sam Simmon's Shitty Trivia
091: Scott "Dools" Dooley
092: English culture
093: English boys
094: Harry Potter - the movies
095: Harry Potter - the books
096: Harry Potter - the character
097: awkward moments - that i'm not responsible for
098: awkward gaps in conversation - that i'm not responsible for
099: leaving school after the last day of the term/year
100: English slang
101: lying in bed listening to rain
102: white hot chocolate
103: tapirs
104: coffeeshops
105: when you get to the pedestrian crossing just as it goes green
106: well-dressed Asians
107: grey old days
108: rugging up
109: the number 9
110: going to live music and feeling the vibrations of the speakers as if the music's going straight through you
111: going to live music and having hot sweaty bodies pressed against you from every angle and you feel one with the crowd
112: getting things in the mail
113: secretly loving movies like Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging
114: standing up for the things I believe in
115: having morals and sticking to them
116: up-beat music
117: getting up when I'm ready to / waking up in my own time
118: having unlimited SMS's
119: memory lane
120: popcorn chicken
121: lying in bed awake at night, focusing on the music i'm listening to
122: having a good cry sometimes. letting it all out
123: the really old Looney Tunes cartoons
124: the concept of infinity
125: wondering what people on the other side of the world are doing right now
126: when things just, fall into place nicely
127: collapsing into bed after a long day
128: retail therapy
129: inside jokes
130: taking inside jokes too far
131: laughing until my cheeks are sore
132: waking up happy
133: falling asleep happy
134: all the video games I used to play
135: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets video game
136: The Sims 2
137: my favourite jeans
138: my favourite hoodie
139: my denim jacket
140: Julian Casablancas
141: having a shoulder to cry on
142: escapism
143: getting really into whatever book or movie I'm reading/watching
144: Georgia's grandparents house
145: Georgia's grandpartents granny flat
146: the house I stayed in in Robe
147: the house I stayed in in Kangaroo Island
148: Sailor Moon
149: theme songs from old shows like Sailor Moon and Captain Planet
150: trying to lucid dream
151: chocolate covered coffee beans
152: going to bed in a clean bedroom
153: finding cool stuff when you're cleaning your room
154: cooking dinner
155: cooking, in general
156: doing what I want, when I want
157: Daisy by Marc Jacobs
158: With Love by Hiary Duff
159: all Britney Spear's perfume
160: when you're tossing up whether or not you can be bothered taking your makeup off before bed, but you do and afterwards looking at the face-wipe and thinking 'Fuck, I nearly went to bed with that all over my face'
161: sleazy pick-up lines
162: random useless facts
163: the word 'diminutive'
164: the word 'prerequisite'
165: the word 'facade'
166: the name Oliver
167: the name Olivia
168: the name Declan
169: chihuahuas
170: Daria (the TV show)
171: just hanging out in my bedroom
172: movies with Zooey Deschanel in them
173: movies with Zach Braff in them
174: Scrubs
175: the janitor in Scrubs
176: plaid
177: rare moments when I'm actually happy with the person I am
178: Mr Bax (year 9 art teacher)
179: Mr Vickery (year 11 aus studies teacher)
180: Mr Sharp (year 10/11 german teacher)
181: sitting by the heater/fire
182: roasting marshmellows
183: ghost stories
184: having good ideas
185: when you spend ages trying to understand something, and then all of a sudden it finally makes sense
186: feeling one with everything
187: I Like Giants - Kimya Dawson
188: just spending time with my best friend
189: talking to him about what our appartment's gonna be like
190: naturally beautiful girls
191: green eyes
192: kissing people with lip-rings
193: creativity
194: Long Way Round
195: Long Way Down
196: that I have the ability to quietly slip into the background
197: catchy songs
198: actually going through with my crazy ideas
199: Luke Pritchard
200: John Lennon's message to the world
201: people with enough will-power to do the 365 Project on Flickr
202: Dove Body Silk mousturiser
203: Garnier Fructis everything
204: when you don't expect someone to know what you're talking about but htey do
205: Conor Oberst
206: the beauty spot on my stomach
207: Hey Arnold!
208: predicting what song's gonna come on next - and then being right
209: sleepovers
210: sitting in the sun
211: being called 'bub'
212: considerate people
213: Max Bemis' mannerisms
214: the way he sort of, pauses and shakes his head a little bit
215: Naboo
216: iPod solitaire
217: crazy American reality shows
218: being a little bit tipsy
219: obscure cultural references
220: being in a good moood just because
221: remembering something that you've been trying to remember for ages
222: seeing a movie/hearing a song that you heard ages ago but haven't been able to remember the name of
223: siamese cats
224: ugly dogs
225: everything else

Friday, August 14, 2009

Wow :)


Thursday, August 13, 2009

I watched the news tonight.

How fucking depressing.

I miss the olddd Mitchell Davis videos.

I picked you

out, of a crowd and talked to you
I said I liked your shoes
You said, "Thanks, can I follow you?"
So it's up the stairs, and out of view
No prying eyes
I poured some wine
I asked your name, you asked the time

Now it's two o clock
The club closed
We're up the block
Your hands on me
Pressing hard against your jeans
Your tongue in my mouth, trying to keep the words from coming out
You didn't care to know, who else may have been you before

I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet him here but I'm not sure
I've got the money if you've got the time
You said it feels good
I said, "I'll give it a try."

Then my mind went dark
We both forgot where your car was parked
Let's just take the train
I'll meet up with the band in the morning

Bad actors with bad habits
Some sad singers they just play tragic
And the phone's ringing and the van's leaving
Let's just keep touching; let's just keep, keep singing

I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I've got a hunger and I can't seem to get full
I need some meaning I can memorize
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind

But you, but you
You write such pretty words
But life's no storybook
Love's an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt.
Do you like to hurt?
I do, I do
Then hurt me

Do you ever feel like

you're always looking at things but never really seeing them?
And do you ever feel like you're constantly missing out on something that everyone else is seeing?
Or is that just me.

I love Scott "Dools" Dooley

for twittering things like "Look At This Creep could become an Olympic Sport, do you have what it takes to become a champion? Find creeps and look at them"

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


the wierd line breaks happen when i blog from my phone, and i have no
idea why D:

Dear friend,

I want to read all the books that he reads in The Perks Of Being a Wallflower, and listen to all the songs on his mixtapes. I want to know what he was listening to when he felt infinite because I want to get inside his skull, if only for a moment.
Love always, Charlie

"You know what?

Fuck beauty contests. life is one fucking beauty contest after another. y'know, school, then college, then work, fuck that. and fuck the air force academy. if i wanna fly, i'll find a way to fly. you do what you love, and fuck the rest."

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Sick and tired

of always being sick and tired. I think I need to trade my body in for a newer model, that'd be nice.

Shit. I hate.

doing homework when i'm sick, especially when i have 5 questions to answer, and answering the first one took up over half of the word count - fml fml fml fml. I want to sleep forever and just forget about school, year 12, uni.

Fuck, it is so impossible to break out of the
school > work > death
cycle that society has laid out.

Monday, August 10, 2009


I wish I could bring myself to care about things, but the truth is, I couldn't care less about anything any teacher or parent has to say to me. meh.

My heart hurts

and not in the romantic sense, in the "i have a stabbing pain in my
chest" sort of way.

The first rainbow I see will be my last.



Sunday, August 9, 2009


is my way of saying "I don't want to talk about this any more"

I'm embarrassed

Appparently my photography teacher's been showing my portoflio from last semester to the year tens, aha.

Don't you just want to

hug all the contestants who the australian idol judges rip into! Fuck you kyle.I love Daniel Woodhouse!

Some photos of me

Reminds me of the best month of my life -

I hate

the morning after a date. I keep dissecting everything I did and said
wrong. sjrdjskjrkw

Saturday, August 8, 2009


i should get up off the couch that i slept on, have a shower and get
ready. But my eyes sting and i just want to is stay here watching video
hits and the sun rise
I don't know what i'm saying
I've been taking photos, of the sun rise, so maybe i'll post them later
And last night i encountered some of the most backward exremist
homophobes, and i was actually the angriest i've been in a long time. So
now i've calmed down i might properly blog about it when my eyelids
don't weigh 10000kg
I don't know what i'm saying.

Thursday, August 6, 2009


Today was good, & tomorrow's friday

I'm obviously a true fan

If I can do this, haha :D
The first song from their new album is being released on the 31st! Srkjdjkdtkd :D

--- Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people you like and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)" ---

Pick your Artist:
say anythinggg.

Are you a male or female:

Describe yourself:
i used to have a heart.

How do you feel:
all choked up.

Describe where you currently live:
where the hurt is.

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
dreaming of manhattan.

Your favorite form of transportation:
slowly, through a vector.

Your best friend is:

You and your best friends are:
retarded in love.

What's the weather like:
alive with the glory of love.

Favorite time of day:
into the night.

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
it's a metaphor, fool.

What is life to you:
an orgy of critics.

Your last relationship:
we killed it.

Your fear:

What is the best advice you have to give:
total revenge.

Thought for the Day:
i will never write an obligatory song about being on the road and missing someone.

How I would like to die:
ants in my pants.

My soul's present condition:
no soul.

My motto:
that's that (do what we want).

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


shouldn't have gotten out of bed today.

I'm so sore

for no particular reason.
Uh. All my blogs have only been a few sentences long lately. I can't concntrate on anything. I have too much homework. I don't really have much to say, fuck, I hate how much of my brain school takes over.
So, unless you want to read any blogs about arithmetic progressions, the functions of amylase, the influence of films in the 1930s, of mice and men, ...?
I can't wait for the weekend, I wanna fucking empty out my brain. It's gonna be good.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

I wish I could stop myself -

but lately I just can't stop thinking about how we're all connected, but
at the same time we're all alone. It's wierd. I dunno.

Monday, August 3, 2009

My head -

weighs 100 kilograms right now.
My feet still hurt from my formal shoes, my back is sore, I can hardly
keep my eyes open and I want to skip school and just go straight to this
Just putting it out there while I wait for the train. I'm pretty sure by
now that I missed the usual one.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Oh, wow.

Reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower and listening to new music on my
ipod put me in the fucking greatest mood.
I feel so one with everything. I can't even explain it.
I'm so happy that things are finally beginning to go my way.

My year eleven formal was last night

It didn't turn out how I thought it would but it was really good.