Monday, October 19, 2009

sorry blogspot

but kirstenseptember.tumblr.com

i love my dad

This was our conversation in emails this morning (he works in I.T)-

me: doonntt forrgeettt to buyy my soundwwavee tickettt today!
dad: You're holding some of the buttons too long. A simple, light tap
should suffice.
me: oh, if that doesn't work I'll try turning it off and on again?
dad: Lol

Sunday, October 18, 2009

I love learning.

But not the sort of things you learn at school. I like learning how to make daisy chains and how to make a pinhole camera and I like good ideas. I like learning things that I feel that I'll need later in life, I don't like learning about binomial probability and normal distribution. I wish my teachers could understand this.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

thirty things about me, hah

01: I love Siamese cats, so much
02: I love Max Bemis, so much (but if you didn't know that, you probably aren't paying very much attention)
03: I'm left-handed
04: Getting ready for school in the morning is okay because while I do it I listen to Robbie, Mareke and the Doctor on JJJ
05: I'm half German, my great grandmother used to walk in the Black Forest every morning, and my great uncles fought in WWII
06: I'm already running out of things to say
07: I need glasses but I hardly ever wear them in public
08: I've been bitten with the travel bug
09: I can't stand having long fingernails, and I always look trashy with black or red nail polish
10: I don't believe in God
11: I really love seeing movies at the Rundle Street cinemas
12: My favourite type of date is probably dinner and a movie
13: I prefer winter over summer, and one day I wanna live in England
14: I'm not certain of anything, but I wouldn't have it any other way
15: English is the only subject I get A's in
16: My hair is naturally blonde and curly
17: People who haven't seen me for a few years generally don't recognise me
18: I like the smell of hair-dye, and the smell of a sauna
19: My first celebrity crushes were Harry Potter and Jesse McCartney
20: I don't really like myself
21: There are certain things I won't want to talk to you about
22: Jokes about suicide, homosexuality or Nazis will not be appreciated
23: I'm getting my braces off on November 11, I was meant to have them off in May
24: I don't really like many people, but that doesn't mean I'm not a nice person
25: I like karma
26: I like long, hot showers or baths
27: I love being cosy
28: I like spending time with my friends, but I also like going off by myself and doing what I want
29: I keep to myself at school
30: I already know where I want to live- in the loungeroom there's a feature wall that's exposed brick, one of the walls in the hallway is entirely made up with bookcase, there's lots of mementos everywhere, a slanted roof and Max Bemis in the bed.

decided two things this evening -

The first is that I'm going to teach myself how to survive without him, because if he can abandon me, I'll do the same to him.
The second is that I want to live in this house-









The fact that it's in Sweden makes it that much more appealing.
(stole the photos from here)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

At the end of the day, the only person you'll always have is yourself. Sure, other people might tell you that they love you, they probably even mean it at some point too, but nobody sticks around forever. Husbands and wives divorce each other every day, and they all thought their marriages were forever. Over the course of a life you'll have different friends, different partners, different everything. Even familys change.

So, the only constant you have in your life is you. People say you live until you die, and the way I see it, the only thing constant in your life is that you're alive. And as long as you're alive you're going to be you. So you should look after yourself, have your own back because at the end of the day (the very end of the day, the end of your life, I mean), you're all you have.

That doesn't mean you should act selfishly though. I still believe in treating others as I'd like to be treated, and I can hardly bring myself to abuse anyone, if anything I'm a bit of a doormat. I love my friends and family, I'd do anything for them. I just ... when I'm alone in my bedroom I can't help but feel like I'm the only one I can trust. I don't mind, that though.
So, at least for the night, I give up on everyone and I'm just going to go curl up in bed with a wheatbag and my iPod. Goodnight.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

I'm trying to convince myself

that it's worth it. Cause it's not, really, is it.
This is how I get when I redecorate my bedroom, a wreck. Is that wierd?

I hate my body.

Not because I'm insecure, well, yes because I'm insecure, but mainly because of how sick I feel this morning. It's a beautiful day outside and it's the second to last day of school holidays but I'm stuck in bed. All my joints ache and I feel hot on the outside and cold on the inside. This morning I drank half a cup of coffee and threw it up. My head is killing me, I felt like I was going to pass out when I walked to the couch and almost instantly fell asleep in front of the TV. Despite all of this I'm in a really good mood, my mind is good, it's just my body that needs to get better haha.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

I just remembered

to eat and sleep.
I haven't slept since Thursday and I haven't eaten for about 24 hours. I'm not even tired or hungry, what the fuck is wrong with me.

Friday, October 9, 2009

//



You have no idea

how easily you tear down the wall I built out of "I'm over him" and "I don't care"s.
You still kill me every time.

I'm so in love with my new camera!

$5 from my local opp-shop, I'm so happy :)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

a moment that changed my life

(first, know that my Year three teacher was generally very nice)
In year three, we were making Christmas cards to sell at the school fete. And my friend Alex cut hers wonky. And the teacher showed it to her and said "What is this? You expect people to pay money for this?"
I don't know why it changed me, I can't even explain it. It kindof inadvertantly made me understand what money is ... or something. I don't know, it's probably stupid.

Also, cleaning my room at 1am I found this in the bottom of my drawer. I don't remember writing it but I guess I must've.

-

i will probably be forever in debt to ben folds

For this song:
Smile like you've got nothing to prove. No matter what you might do, there's always someone out there cooler than you. I know that's hard to believe, but there are people you meet, they're into something that is too big to be. Expressed through their clothes and they'll put up with all the poses you throw, and you won't even know that they're not sizing you up. They know your mum fucked you up, or maybe let you watch too much TV. But they'll still look in your eyes to find the human inside. You know there's always something in there to see. Beneath the veneer. Not everybody made the list this year. Have a beer.

Make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall but there's always someone cooler than you. Yeah you're the shit but you won't be it for long, yeah there's always someone cooler than you.

Now that I've got the disease, in a way I'm relieved, cause I don't have to stress about it like you do. I might just get up and dance or buy some acid wash pants. When you don't care than you've got nothing to lose. And I won't hesitate, cause every moment life is slipping away. It's okay.

Make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall but there's always someone cooler than you. Yeah you're the shit but you won't be it for long, yeah there's always someone cooler than you. Oh there's always someone cooler than.

Life is wonderful, life is beautiful, we're all children of one big universe so you don't have to be a chump.
And you know that I won't hesitate cause every moment life is slipping away. It's okay.




and for his music in general. His voice and words are beautiful and I wish I could play the piano like he does. Wow.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

go on

Oh, today should be good

Opp-shopping, 500 Days of Summer, Pancake Kitchen. What more could you want

Last night I dreamt that I was walking around Sydney with some guy who was wearing a shirt and suit pants, and we were running through the underground system except the further we ran the more lost we were getting.
Then later on I was in hospital having my leg amputated. Then my doctor decided that because I had already had one leg amputated, they might as well take the other leg off as well. Then when I woke up, for a moment I didn't think I have any legs, it was so crazy.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I'm in love

My report card came!

English - A
Biology - C
German - B
History - B
Maths - D
Home ec - B

It's pretty good I guess, but I could have done better if I cared

200th blog!

Things I wish I could do-
- dance
- draw
- play the guitar
- speak French
- sightread music
- concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes

I hate hormones.

I also wish I was emotionally stable.

Monday, October 5, 2009

I guess I just

can't wait to look back at photos of me now and laugh at how stupid I look and how dumb I was. I guess I just wanna grow up, uhh I'm obviously really original..

Why

am I only ever inspired to clean my bedroom in the middle of the night, and why am I only ever inspired to look for a job on a public holiday when everything's shut.
*sigh*
Also not that it matters, but lately I've been having sssooo many ideas for typography/drawings I can do 0_0
So maybe you'll see some of them soon...

The truth is

I'll probably never be able to post a really long blog about really deep things ... I've written a lot of stuff that's never seen the light of day, I'd feel to vulnerable with people knowing all that stuff.
And the truth is, there's a lot of things that I don't really share with anyone. I know I shouldn't, but ... I do.
This is also why I'm relatively quiet in real life and it's hard for me to tell people how I feel sometimes. I'm shy when I first meet people because I don't expect to be liked.
I don't know, maybe that's crazy and immature, but it's who I am.

Photos from Sydney -












http://www.flickr.com/photos/38418183@N04/

Sunday, October 4, 2009

In my defense -

THEY AREN'T JEGGINGS, THEY'RE JUST REALLY TIGHT JEANS
THEY HAVE A ZIP AND POCKETS AND SEAMS AND BELT LOOPS, THEY AREN'T JEGGINGS

Saturday, October 3, 2009

First with your hands



and then with your mouth
A downpour of sweat, damp cotton clouds
I was a fool, you were my friend
We made it happen
You took off your clothes, left on the light
You stood there so brave
You used to be shy
Each feature improved, each movement refined and eyes like a showroom
Now they are spreading out the blankets on the beach
That weatherman is a liar
He said it would be raining but it's clear and blue as far as I can see

Left by the lamp, right next to the bed,
on a cartoon cat pad she scratched with a pen,
"Everything is as it's always been.
This never happened.
Don't take it too bad it is nothing you did.
It's just once something dies you can't make it live.
You're a beautiful boy.
You're a sweet little kid but I am a woman."
So I laid back down and wrapped myself up in the sheet
And I must have looked like a ghost 'cause something frightened me
and since then I've been so good at vanishing

Now I do as I please and lie through my teeth
Someone might get hurt, but it won't be me
I should probably feel cheap but I just feel free...
and a little bit empty
No, it isn't so hard to get close to me
There will be no arguments
We will always agree
And I'll try and be kind when I ask you to leave
We'll both take it easy
But if you stay too long inside my memory,
I will trap you in a song tied to a melody
and I will keep you there so you can't bother me

THE LIST SO FAR

I'm trying to get up to 1000 things I love
/this is copied from my Myspace blog

01: the 'I love' game
002: Say Anything
003: Maxim Adam Bemis
004: movies that're so stupid they're funny (i.e. Billy Maddison, Dud Where's My Car)
005: being up early enough to watch the sun rise
006: breakfast pizza
007: wierd food combinations that're actually really good
008: Asian photobooths
009: good hair days
010: getting to the bus stop/train station just as the bus/train does
011: walking on the beach at night
012: the night sky (especially in the country)
013: all-nighters
014: late night/early morning d&ms
015: cloudy weather, English weather
016: Noel Fielding's accent
017: Noel Fielding's everything
018: 11:11
019: live music
020: second-hand bookshops
021: Melbourne
022: opp-shops
023: the Number 23 (movie)
024: road trips
025: people who genuinnely don't give a shit about their appearance
026: fmylife.com
027: perfecting songs on the piano
028: the first five seconds of The Word You Wield by Say Anything
029: my cat Hamish
030: the episode of The Mighty Boosh where they're stuck on a desert island with their coconut girlfriends
031: Ikea
032: coffee
033: croissants
034: the lemon meringue pies that my Mum sometimes makes
035: the apple pies my Nan sometimes makes
036: having smooth legs
037: The Perks of Being a Wallflower
038: Canon things
039: my Canon EOS 500 film camera
040: the anticipation of waiting for film to be developed
041: combatting fears
042: Polaroid things
043: thinking about my plans to live in England/Europe as soon as I have the money
044: double German every second Thursday
045: the thought that I have my whole life ahead of me
046: meaningful lyrics
047: random compliments
048: sincerity
049: being happy for no reason
050: the smell of hair dye
051: hair dye that comes with proper rubber gloves, not the shitty ones
052: Ordinary People by Judith Guest
053: being proactive
054: being organised
055: making a good first impression
056: guys that smell like Hugo Boss
057: kissing people with cigarette breah
058: noisy kisses
059: minimalist writing
060: red headed, pale, freckly, skinny, green eyed girls with hair that goes down to the small of their back
061: Sean Hughes
062: Ben Elton
063: celebrities who actually have something to say
064: day time TV
065: late night TV
066: Skins
067: Chris Miles' general outlook on life
068: tuna salad sushi
069: innuendos and insinuation
070: China town
071: Hong Fat BBQ
072: having wierd, elaborate dreams
073: my diary
074: randomly running into people you've been meaning to catch up with
075: changes of plans - for the bette r
076: the atmosphere at the Royal Adelaide Show
077: counting down the days until I go to Hamburg for 10 weeks
078: Ocean Grove
079: being alone sometimes
080: Frankie magazine
081: Hudsons
082: being missed by people
083: feeling wanted
084: feeling accepted
085: incense
086: the pretty parts of the Torrens - near the zoo etc
087: listening Robbie, Mareke and the Doctor while I get ready for school
088: Lindsay "the Doctor" McDougall
089: JJJTV
090: Sam Simmon's Shitty Trivia
091: Scott "Dools" Dooley
092: English culture
093: English boys
094: Harry Potter - the movies
095: Harry Potter - the books
096: Harry Potter - the character
097: awkward moments - that i'm not responsible for
098: awkward gaps in conversation - that i'm not responsible for
099: leaving school after the last day of the term/year
100: English slang
101: lying in bed listening to rain
102: white hot chocolate
103: tapirs
104: coffeeshops
105: when you get to the pedestrian crossing just as it goes green
106: well-dressed Asians
107: grey old days
108: rugging up
109: the number 9
110: going to live music and feeling the vibrations of the speakers as if the music's going straight through you
111: going to live music and having hot sweaty bodies pressed against you from every angle
112: getting things in the mail
113: secretly loving movies like Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging
114: standing up for the things I believe in
115: having morals and sticking to them
116: up-beat music
117: getting up when I'm ready to / waking up in my own time
118: having unlimited SMS's
119: memory lane
120: popcorn chicken
121: lying in bed awake at night, focusing on the music i'm listening to
122: having a good cry sometimes. letting it all out
123: the really old Looney Tunes cartoons
124: the concept of infinity
125: wondering what people on the other side of the world are doing right now
126: when things just, fall into place nicely
127: collapsing into bed after a long day
128: retail therapy
129: inside jokes
130: taking inside jokes too far
131: laughing until my cheeks are sore
132: waking up happy
133: falling asleep happy
134: all the video games I used to play
135: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets video game
136: The Sims 2
137: my favourite jeans
138: my favourite hoodie
139: my denim jacket
140: Julian Casablancas
141: having a shoulder to cry on
142: escapism
143: getting really into whatever book or movie I'm reading/watching
144: Georgia's grandparents house
145: Georgia's grandpartents granny flat
146: the house I stayed in in Robe
147: the house I stayed in in Kangaroo Island
148: Sailor Moon
149: theme songs from old shows like Sailor Moon and Captain Planet
150: trying to lucid dream
151: chocolate covered coffee beans
152: going to bed in a clean bedroom
153: finding cool stuff when you're cleaning your room
154: cooking dinner
155: cooking, in general
156: doing what I want, when I want
157: Daisy by Marc Jacobs
158: With Love by Hiary Duff
159: all Britney Spear's perfume
160:
when you're tossing up whether or not you can be bothered taking your
makeup off before bed, but you do and afterwards looking at the
face-wipe and thinking 'Fuck, I nearly went to bed with that all over my face'
161: sleazy pick-up lines
162: random useless facts
163: the word 'diminutive'
164: the word 'prerequisite'
165: the word 'facade'
166: the name Oliver
167: the name Olivia
168: the name Declan
169: chihuahuas
170: Daria (the TV show)
171: just hanging out in my bedroom
172: movies with Zooey Deschanel in them
173: movies with Zach Braff in them
174: Scrubs
175: the janitor in Scrubs
176: plaid
177: rare moments when I'm actually happy with the person I am
178: Mr Bax (year 9 art teacher)
179: Mr Vickery (year 11 aus studies teacher)
180: Mr Sharp (year 10/11 german teacher)
181: sitting by the heater/fire
182: roasting marshmellows
183: ghost stories
184: having good ideas
185: when you spend ages trying to understand something, and then all of a sudden it finally makes sense
186: feeling one with everything
187: I Like Giants - Kimya Dawson
188: just spending time with my best friend
189: talking to him about what our appartment's gonna be like
190: naturally beautiful girls
191: green eyes
192: kissing people with lip-rings
193: creativity
194: Long Way Round
195: Long Way Down
196: that I have the ability to quietly slip into the background
197: catchy songs
198: actually going through with my crazy ideas
199: Luke Pritchard
200: John Lennon
201: people with enough will-power to do the 365 Project on Flickr
202: Dove Body Silk mousturiser
203: Garnier Fructis everything
204: when you don't expect someone to know what you're talking about but htey do
205: Conor Oberst
206: the beauty spot on my stomach
207: Hey Arnold!
208: predicting what song's gonna come on next - and then being right
209: sleepovers
210: sitting in the sun
211: being called 'bub'
212: considerate people
213: Max Bemis' mannerisms
214: the way he sort of, pauses and shakes his head a little bit
215: Naboo
216: iPod solitaire
217: crazy American reality shows
218: being a little bit tipsy
219: obscure cultural references
220: being in a good moood just because
221: remembering something that you've been trying to remember for ages
222: seeing a movie/hearing a song that you heard ages ago but haven't been able to remember the name of
223: siamese cats
224: ugly dogs
225: eskimo kisses
226: butterfly kisses
227: vanilla coke
228: cherry coke
229: cherry ripes
230: violet crumble
231: when you ask someone to do something for you, don't expect them to do it, but then they do it anyway
232: Alice in Wonderland
233: getting good marks at school
234: spooning
235: lying with my head on somebody's chest listening to their heartbeat
236: when school assemblys are actually funny
237: 2:37
238: movie marathons with friends
239: the fact that georgia and I have a list of movies we wanna watch, and a list of all our inside jokse (it's more than 6 pages long)
240: cooking good things in home ec
241: art
242: getting really messy while doing art
243: not smoking
244: the book shop where I discovered some of my favourite books
245: hanging out rather than partying
246: long walks just wherever
247: travelling anywhere
248: planes, flying
249: airports
250: hot baths on cold days
251: acoustic versions of songs
252: knowing that it doesn't matter what i do today because in 150 years no-one will even know who i am
253: good songs with good music videos
254: really bad jokes
255: when you expect a day to be bad, but it actually turns out being really really good
256: knowing crazy random facts
257: buying new make-up
258: poignance
259: Just Married
260: quilt tents
261: Mcdonalds apple pies
262: vegetarianism
263: pouring my heart out onto a piece of paper
264: when everything falls into place nicely
265: www.myspace.com/jackchambersmusic
266: www.millymcmahon.blogspot.com
267: the fact that i can blog from my phone
268: people who smell really nice
269: finally getting the food out from in between your teeth
270: finally getting the eyelash out of your eye
271: when I fall asleep straight away
272: mylifeisaverage.com
273: unconventional beauty
274: Sarah Blasko's clothes
275: Say Anything (the movie)
276: Lloyd Dobbler
277: the way John Cusack talks
278: line drawings
279: owls
280: deers
281: butterflies
282: quotes, quoting people
283: learning
284: remembering
285: fake eyelashes
286: guys with naturally thick and long eyelashes
287: To Write Love On Her Arms
288: scented candles
289: The Body Shop
290: organic things
291: being healthy
292: being unhealthy
293: fairy lights
294: familys that go completely over the top with Christmas decorations
295: Christmas jumpers all year
296: music festivals, in general
297: exceptions to the rule
298: people who are cool purely because they couldn't care less about being cool
299: being bi-lingual (more or less)
300: the English sense of humour
301: discovering great bands
302: thoughtful people
303: people who honestly care
304: people who put other people before themselves
305: putting other people before myself
306: talking forever about nothing at all
307: random Simpsons quotes (feels like i'm wearing nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all)
308: the episode of the Simpsons where Sideshow Bob is trying to kill Bart so the Simpsons move to a boathouse - become a legend in my household
309: writing lists
310: warm milk with honey
311: when you realise that there's more money in your wallet than you thought there was
312: when somebody's trying to explain smoething to you, but you pretend to be an idiot and not get it, and they end up having to explain it really slowly and simply
313: Princess Diana
314: the way i'm not even introverted when i'm drunk
315: coming out of my shell once in a while
316: nice people, in general
317: good karma
318: bad karma happening to bad people
319: seeing good karma happen to good people
320: hide and seek
321: murder in the dark
322: youtubing Max Bemis
323: Mia Michael's choreography on So You Think You Can Dance US
324: getting shivers
325: motherlode, motivedecay off, various other crazy Sims 2 cheats
326: Kevin Rudd, PM on rove
327: miserable weather
328: chilli flavoured things
329: sour cream and chives flavoured things
330: putting pepper on everything
331: picnics
332: being healthy
333: being unhealthy
334: oddity
335: rarity
336: being quaint
337: cherry flavoured anything
338: strawberry flavoured anything
339: the way that my brother fumigates the bathroom with chocolate lynx every morning and it smells amazing

340: singing in the shower
341: belting out songs
342: when you start singing a song and someone else joins in
343: being imaginative
344: pretending
345: convincing gullible people of stuff
346: the smell of china-town
347: the crazy people you seem to see walking around Adelaide
348: Ray-Bans
349: thick-rimmed glasses (except mine)
350: when somebody accidentally says 'say anything' in the middle of a conversation
351: driving around with dad
352: the fucking stupid things dad says
353: the Fabiani jumper that dad's been wearing to bed for literally as long as i can remmeber
354: songs that seem like they could've been written about you
355: 1960s english culture
356: 1970s english culture
357: the original punk bands
358: being right
359: people who do brave things to their hair
360: when the battery on my ipod goes up a bit
361: understanding
362: enigmas
363: oxymorons
364: the Curse of Monkey Island and various other wierd videogames my brother and I used to play
365: summer
366: winter
367: autumn
368: spring
369: blue skies
370: making shapes out of clouds
371: people who beat the statistics
372: being care-free
373: being free-spirited
374: not having a worry in the world
375: not caring about the future
376: caring about the future
377: strawberry milk
378: banana milk
379: being told that everything's going to be okay
380: people with interesting/original body modifications
381: tattoos in general
382: spending as much time as possible with my cousins because they're so young but they're also growing up really quickly
383: feeling clean after a shower
384: using too much soap in the shower
385: using too much bubble bath in the bath
386: staying in the bath until your fingers and toes go wrinkly
387: cold showers in the morning
388: hot showers at night
389: Wok in a Box
390: hokkien noodles
391: egg noodles
392: fortune cookies
393: spring rolls
394: crazy stories that Pop tells me about when he was in the Navy
395: bear hugs
396: big jumpers
397: sleeping naked
398: getting into a warm bed
399: marshmellows
400: when you sit in a spa for ages, then when you get out it's freezing but when you get in again it's really nice
401: people with a unique sense of style
402: my pink donald duck ailor bag
403: driving around with Dad
404: Rage at 3am
405: Subway cookies (especially macadamia)
406: getting eye make-up looking exactly the same on both eyes (because it hardle ever happens)
407: making really fucked up familys on the Sims
408: singing in the shower
409: really belting out songs
410: not wearing pants
411: being organised
412: being totally unorganised and just letting things happen
413: the way that my short hair doesnlt take very long to straighten
414: always looking for the silver lining
415: surrounding myself with positive people
416: using 'well' instead of 'very' (ie I'm well tired)
417: surprising people
418: when someone makes you feel beautiful, rather than just telling you
419: people who smell good
420: being kissed on the neck
421: being kissed on the collarbone
422: people with nice collar/cheek/pelvis bones
423: agreeing
424: disagreeing
425: getting home from a holiday and sleeping in your own bed
426: panoramas
427: everything else

last night I dreamt

that I was ... okay it's all sort of confusing and not in chronological order in my head.
But I was in jail for some reason, I think I was framed of murdering someone. And I was in a padded cell and a panel was trying to determine whether or not I was insane, but I was slamming myself into the walls and yelling because I was innocent so they thought I was crazy. So they put me in a white straight jacket and made me walk the halls of the prison to go to the car to go to the mental hospital. When I was walking through the prison, everyone else was wearing the bright orange prison uniform, and becuase I was in white everyone knew that I was crazy. And in my head I kept thinking about One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and how when I was in the mental hospital I would convince them not only of my sanity, but also my innocence. They walked me through the prison and to the lift where we stood and waited. While we were waiting for the lift, I saw a girl waiting for the lift next to me. I think she must have been my girlfriend, I told her I was sorry and that I'd come back really soon, and I kissed her on the cheek and then on her neck, but she looked really sad.
Then I was standing on a pier saying goodbye to my family and I hugged them all, then the next thing I knew I was on a plane being flown to the mental institution, lying on a bed facing the wall.

Then for some reason I was trying to find somebody who I knew could help me get out of the bad situation I was in (I'm not sure what the situation I was in was, except I'm pretty sure that I was on the run from either the prison or the government, or something). And the person I was looking for lived on a farm, so I was walking throughout the English countryside looking for her farm. I was pretty lost and confused and eventually I came across a group of people who were singing. One of the men came up to me and asked me what I was looking for, and I told him that I'm pretty sure it's called ...the something or something, I don't remember it now. And he said, oh yeah I know what you mean, and he gave me really extensive directions.

Hahahaha, lots of other things happened as well, but I can't really remember it well enough to put it in words .... something about a train station.

I love Frankie more and more


(from the September/October 2009 Frankie, click on it to see it big enough to read)

~

Friday, October 2, 2009

Exerpt from a really old diary of mine?

I wrote it on a bus so it's nearly illegible haha.
"Sometimes on buses I like to pretend that everyone with headphones is listening to the same whimsical song. The same harmony creates the same atmosphere for all of us, the same atmosphere evokes the same emotions, and while the lyrics mean different things to different people, we are all feeling the same thing. It's nice to think that everyone here is sharing something, even though we've never met under the normal circumstances. It's nice to think that we're all connected, and are all a part of this unspoken community, no matter what we do."

I don't know.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

It's a terrible thing to know

that at 10:37 I've been single for exactly a year, hm.
This shouldn't be as important to me as it is, because I actually
believe that, contrary to what society tries to tell me, there are
actually more important things in a woman's life than having a
boyfriend.
Still hurts though..

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

i have

an awful secret

List of bad ways to wake up

- late in the morning/early afternoon
- after a good dream and you can't sleep again
- being in a good mood until you remember something bad that happened
the night before
- being choked by an iPod
- too hot
- too cold
- blankets that are too heavy
- when someone else wakes you up
- when you wake up and realise you're already late
- wearing a bra
- when your face feels disgusting and dirty from the make-up left on
your face from the night before
- phone or iPod's about to go dead

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I don't know what this says about me

but I just realised that all my favourite Say Anything songs are about
sex or hate, haha.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Sunday, September 27, 2009

I think I'm going to steal

My auntie's new dog!
Jkskskl it's so cute!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

I sort of realised ho

w fucking repetitive this blog is. So expect to hear less from me probably.

-

Last night

was good even if the bands weren't.
And there was hail all over the lawn when I woke up?! First time in my life I've ever seen so much.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I feel very

alive. In a quiet unnoticable sort of way.
Goodnight world.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Why are you in school?

are you here for your parents or for you? So they'll be a little pissed off, what're they gonna do, spank you?
Reputation? Who gives a fuck about reputation. The only person you have to answer to is yourself. You make your own rules. The minute you figure that out your free.
- Hugo

Monday, September 14, 2009

Every time any body speaks your name

I still, feel the same. I ache, I ache, I ache, inside.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Hm, things I want to learn on the piano

- Regina Spektor songs
- Last Day on Earth
- Hallelujah

Mm. This weekend was okay. I'm trying to view the world more positively and it's harder than it sounds, haha.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Wow

you really are becoming everything I hate. I can't stand the site of you
any more, when did you turn into such a monster?

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Hi, I'm Kirsten and

I'm happy with the person I am.

Lol at my crazy taste in men

but Samuel Johnson from Rush is so fucking sexy.
Ps: If I blog less lately, it's because I went out and bought a diary,
so I've been writing things there rather than here, and also because
lately I don't seem to have enough time even to think about anything -_-

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Fuck.

I have to stop saying "<b>tomorrow</b> I'll change"
I have to learn that it has to start right now. I have to stop turning
over new leaves tomorrow because I never do. I need to change this
second. Fuck, I am so fucking lazy and apathetic, it's disgusting.

I don't like people who

talk loudly about how much they hate mainstream culture. You're just as bad as those people who listen to SAFM and shop at Supre. You're both trying to fit in and you both follow trends, the only difference is that you might be trying to fit in with different people and follow different trends. Shunning bands from your ipod just because they 'sell-out'is just stupid, you're just as bad as the masses, and you aren't unique at all. Start fucking thinking for yourself. I like the music I like, and I do what I want to do. So fuck you.


I don

I officially

have too much of an imagination. I had three dreams last night, and one
of them was an ENTIRE MOVIE that I made up. It had subplots and
everything -__- Anyway, everybody's gone to school and work now, so I
think I'll blast my say anything cd. Then I'm going job-hunting and then
I'll go to the show :) Today's gonna be good.

Monday, September 7, 2009

I've been considering

doing the 365 days prooject on flickr. Except I don't want 365 photos of myself. And I don't want photos of just random things. I need a theme, I don't know. Things that make me smile? It'd probably be repetitive
Other people? Again, repetitive and in any case I don't like asking people to take photos of them
I don't know. We'll see I suppose.

Post-script: the 365 days project is when you take a photo of yourself every day for a year, and I think this is a pretty good example of it http://kaylakernphoto.blogspot.com/

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Lloyd Dobbler.

Where are you. I need you more and more.

My myspace 'about me'

I'm happy with it, for now at least

I'm Kirsten, I'm sixteen, in year eleven and single. I seem to wear a lot of grey and a lot of scarves and bandanas. I'm as unsure of myself as the next girl, I always feel more comfortable behind the camera than infront of one. I'm always a sucker for a sweet-talker and I'm aware of the fact that at the moment i'm writing the first things that I think of about myself, hoping that eventually I'll be able to sew them together to give you an accurate impression of myself. But the truth is that I could never do that becasue I don't know who I am. Not properly, anyway. I'm constantly surprising myself in the way I feel, act, and even look. I guess the most importatnt thing about my life that I want to communicate is that my life is utterly chaotic and I love it. That and I'm carving out my niche and that I don't intend to stay in this accursed city for much longer.

I WANT TO DO SOMETHING

I don't know what it is, but I really want to do it. I want to drive fast and go on all the rollercoasters and kiss passionately and run as fast as I can for the hell of it and sit outside in the rain and yell and scream and escape from this house and this city and fuck all the consequences. I'm sick of being sedentary. Fuck sdktdsktkdtdkgdflgdlkgdfltkftkldrkltg.

Is this too much to ask for?

A fairytale ending?

I've been

crying a lot lately.

Crazy, crazy dream

It involved me trying to decide what to wear to Soundwave, sitting on a beach, meting my friends blind dad (none of my friends in real life have a blind dad), having someone confess how much they love, and haha I don't remember who it was but somebody's mum was tryng to be 'cool' so she pretended to be me for some estranged reason but I think she was making fun of me, now that I thhink about it.She put on a black beret and a grey tshirt and straightened her hair and started talking about her day"I'm gonna go take photos and then i'm gonna read a book because I have no friends"
me: hey! I have friends!
her: Okay, I'm gonna take photos of my friensd
me: Yeah, that's better
Then for some reason I asked her how many photos she took -to see if she was a legitimate photographer (which ... I don't usually ask people), and she said that she'd taken 16,000 photos that morning, and asked me how many I took. And I thought about it, and I've probably taken thousands.

Then mum came into my bedroom and asked me if I wanted a coffee. Now it's fathers day, I just gave Dad the same thing I give him every year, and we're going out to breakfast at a place that makes really good pancakes :) It's gonna be a good day, I love you dad.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

I've come to the conclusion that

the only people who really like me are the people who don't really know me. Then they get to know me and they either realise they don't like me at all or they forget about me, it's been happening for 16 years and I'm going to go watch sad movies and cry, night.

When I

was eight years old
Before puberty took hold
I thought I'd end up beside a princess bride
And love was indivisible
Never mind how my taste reflects
A disturbing oedipal complex
It's not awkward, girl
The compliments are coming next
You're no witch
You're no wench
You're like Bjork with better fashion sense
So phone fifty cents
And I'm building up my confidence
Respect to your work
You're an artist, I'm a silly jerk
I think that dynamic could work
I have a total crush on you, baby
And I can't let it go, oh no
I have a total crush on you, baby
Baby, if only I could let you know
And we spoke, no joke
I started shedding slutty girls like snakeskin
My collection acquired through shallow misdirection
And as I drive tonight
West coast sky daring me to try
I feel alive tonight
The possibility that I'm your guy
Though I suffer from dyslexia
And mild manorexia
My hair cannot commit to one popular genre of music
And though they all claim
That a girl can't take a boy's last name
Or end up divorced and estranged
I'm counting on you
I have a total crush on you, baby
And I can't let it go, oh no
I have a total crush on, baby
Baby, if only I could
Your other suitors are no poets
They're only actors who can't play guitar
Have I won your heart?
They're not students or screenwriters
They're only models that they taught to read
Love, would you agree?
I have a total crush on you, baby
And I can't let it go, oh no
I have a total crush on you, baby
Baby, if only I could
Quite sure you love me, Sherri
Quite sure I love you too
We should make a verbal agreement to only kiss each other
Because one time, beneath the sky
Outside my New York pigsty
I saw a vision of you and I
HA! HA!
Did it hurt?
Did it hurt?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, girl?
Did it hurt?
Did it hurt?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, girl?
La dada dada da da
La dada da da
La dada dada da da
La dada da da

Story of my life.

Wierd line breaks

happen when I send a blog from my phone as an email. I have no idea why
but I try to fix them whenever I'm actually on a computer.

Mergh. I feel gross and sore and tired. I just wrote a massive blog
about last night and deleted it. I don't know. I don't want you to know
everything. I want a diary.
Whatever I'm going back to sleep, it isn't like anyone wants to spend
time with me today anyway, they all have better things to do. Goodnight.

I love the way that

in movies, everything happens for a reason. Everything that happens, is
essential in plot and character development. Everything happens for a
reason and everything is there for a reason.
I wish real life was like that.

I typed this, yesterday in English, and I just realised I never actually
sent it haha.

Friday, September 4, 2009

I always wondered..

Like ... okay hold on I don't really know how to explain it haha.
Like. Okay. Just say you're drawing a still life of a table that you see
in front of you. But then you started to draw beyond the table - the
floor, the wall behind the table. And you just kept drawing until you
had drawn everything that was in your line of sight. I've always
wondered what shape the drawing would end up being. I can't imagine that
it'd neatly fit onto an A4 page. Not just that, I also want to know what
the things that you can sortof half see out of the corner of your eye'd
look like if you drew it.

I don't know how much sense that makes to someone else.
I need to buy a diary already.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Thursday I'm in love

I can't write

my english story right now. My mind is too full of things. Everything.

This morning

I actually feel alright. Regardless of the fact I have a verryy long day
ahead.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Girls only blog -

I just want this time of the month to be over already so I can stop being so uncertain and angsty. Ughhhh sdlrktdrt guys are lucky.
Just had to put it out there.

Love sucks.

Really, truly.

I always

get ready too early, and end up sitting around for 15/20 minutes
*taps feet*

Reasons I'm looking forward to November 22

- I'm going to learn what it's like to be on a plane for over 25 and
when I get there have it be yesterday
- I get to see Luisa again
- I get to meet Luisa's family
- I get to see Roman again, I hope
- Luisa's friend has an appartment which we can say we're sleeping at
and then go wherever we want
- German people are cute
- I've always wanted to know what it's like to live in a non-English
speaking country
- I'm going to have a white Christmas for the first time in my life
- I get to visit the Christmas Markets
- The fact that I don't know what to expect
- I don't have to see my family for 10 weeks
- Considering I'll be in one of the biggest cities in the world, they
presumably don't have the same problem that Adelaide has - everyone's
bored all of the time and hangs out at the same places every week
- The fact that I'll be in one of the largest cities in the world
- I won't have to worry about Adelaide's shitty small-town dramas
- I'm keen to be fluent in another language
etc etc etc

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The happiest I've been in a while

Was on saturday night when I was sitting on the bottom bunk with
Georgia, and we had sheets hanging down from the top bunk to make a
fort, and we were both reading rip it up, and for some reason botth
pretended to be really excited about reading about the Onion Record
Fair, and then really sad when we realised it had been on that day
already, even though neither of us knew what the Onion Record Fair was.
Then we went into the living room and both pretended to be reverse
claustrophobics who were having panic attacks over being in such a large
space because we were in the quilt tent for so long, and it was really
retarded but really fun, I don't know anyone else who I can act like
that around without worrying that they'll think I'm a complete freak and
haha it's great.
I blog too much.

Thing's I'd do differently if I had the chance

Nothing, nothing at all. Everything's good.

I'm proud of my life, and the things that I've done.
Proud of myself, and the loner I've become.

SJkdtjdstldrlk iunno.

My favourite photo I favourited today


I think, essentially I'm just trying to distract myself from thinking about what was happening a year ago exactly. No, I'm fine, really.

http://www.dear-god.net/

Check it out.

"Dear God, When are you going to let all those who believe in you know that you don’t exist? I find it alarming, scary in fact, that so many blindly devote themselves, act on the behalf of, and talk to something that quite clearly doesn’t exist. You’ve kept a firm grip on society through promoting shame, guilt and fear - not of your wrath - but of humanity and life itself. I get that many of us need ’something’ to believe in, I get that. But it’s still very sad to know that a fairy tale has become the biggest prank in history. I’m sorry people, but no matter who or what you act on behalf of, what YOU do in this life still matters. Who you hurt, who you shame, who you love and who you help determines who you are - what you believe is irrelevant - pain, suffering, joy and love are real.

The reason god knows everything you do, is because god IS you! It’s a joke. Don’t you get it?"

Well

I'm not reven in a bad mood :) Rather than wallowing in the fact that today would have been our one year anniversary, I'm proud of what I'vebecome since I got rid of him from my life. Which I didn't expect to feel haha, I'm surprised :)
I want to say that I hope he's happy, but I don't. I hope he knows what >today is, but there's no way he does. But none of that matters any more because I'm free now, he has his life and I have mine, and I'm so happy to have let it go
Wow, I feel amazing.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Food for thought.

I really feel like cooking something right now and I don't know why. I'm hungry.
I want rich chocolate and cream puffs and apple rings with cinnamon anthose german biscuits my great aunt sends over at christmas and honey puff and fluffy pancakes and ferero rochers
/drools, everywhere

Sometimes I feel like

I'm just looking for an excuse to be sad. Which doesn't change the fact that I'm pretending to be sick now because tomorrow is an important anniversary and I know that I'll just want to stay in bed and have a cry about it.

Fuck my life.

Okay. Calm down. Okay. I just need to take it on the chin and put up
with this for a year and a bit. I can do it, then I'll be free. I feel
so weak this morning. Definately should've stayed in bed.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Also

I frequently find myself wondering how much of the personality I have is because of who I am, and how much of my psyche is just my teenage hormones? I also wonder how much of me is me, and how much is my parents genetics and the way they brought me up. I don't know. I've been overthinking everything tonight and I've had about 47328239 mood-swings just while I was writing this. Fuck, I just want to sleep for 3 months and wake up when I get to finally go to the other side of the world where I belong.

You have no idea

how much I hate seeing you sad.
Chin up, soldier.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

I'm obviously amazing

40%

of me wants to take advantage of being awake so early and go for a run
or something.
60% of me likes bed too much.

Friday, August 28, 2009

My stomach

is going crazy. Backflips and knots, I feel it up around my lungs,
fuck.
I just thought you should know, because it's taking me ages to get to
the cinema, sjskkdklskdlejju.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

"

It's still the case, that the only thing you've got is this second.
Right now I'm alive, and if I can enjoy what I'm doing now, if I can
feel that it's worthwhile, that's really all I can ask of it."

WOW!

I'm getting so frustrated editing this photo!

Re: previous blog

i was right about today.

Just checked out my timetable

today is almost definately not going to be my day.

What I'm doing at quarter past midnight -

writing a very confusing fettucine recipe for home ec and drawing owls
when i get bored. i need to start handling my time better, haha.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I do this instead of writing a history assignment



I'll colour it in once I find my old pencils!

What if

this is all there is.

I miss the days

on the train with Katharine and Jake - when Jake and I would pretend not
to know her when she got on the train, and the way we'd be 'late' to
school at least three times a week, just because we wanted to go buy
chocolate croissants, or whatever.
It really was a great start to the day.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Where are you

where have you gone, where are you going, what have you become
I hate not knowing, I miss you.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Starting from tomorrow -

I'm going to be a better person, you'll see.

-

"So shines a good deed in an unjust world"

today

i
can't
get
out
of
bed.
i
look
like
a
zombie

Saturday, August 22, 2009

HEY YOU

I knew this'd happen sooner or later

I knew that because I was so deliriously happy in july, pretty soon I'd always be comparing my mood to then. I'm happy now, sure, but not as happy as then. Maybe that was my peak, maybe it's all downhill from here. That's a terrible thing to think. I need to get out of this house. I think I'll make pancakes. My thoughts are all backwards this morning, I don't know. This is my 100th blog.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

I really should be

doing my homework. But my eyelids are heavy, I feel warm from the inside, and I just want to curl up under my quilt. I'm too sleepy to even care about anything else right now. I just want to go to sleep and dream about far away places. Mount gambier.



I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel safe right now.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I want to paint

something like this, y'know? I want to paint emotion, not a pretty picture.

I'm happy

even though I'm starviiiiing and in a maths test sjrkmjdkl, at least I
have Jack's song stuck in my heaad :D
BORED.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I need to

stop waiting for life to come to me, sometimes I really hate being so
shy :/
At least this afternoon was really, really good <3

Saturday, August 15, 2009

STOP

TAKING LIFE SO SERIOUSLY, NO-ONE GETS OUT OF IT ALIVE ANYWAY.

I

am
in
such
a
bad
mood.
My skin is dry, my hair is dead, my makeup is bad, I have itches I can't scratch, I went to 4 photo developing places this afternoon, none of which could have my film developed by tomorrow afternoon, and the world is really going to hell in a fucking handbasket.

Some of my favourite music videos

1 -

2 -

3 -

I'll just add more as I think of them I suppose.

I actually think there's something wrong with my brain

I've been having blonde moments all day, and I just spent about five
minutes staring blankly at a bus timetable.
Don't ask me, I'm just a girl!

THINGS I LOVE

001: the 'I love' game
002: Say Anything
003: Maxim Adam Bemis
004: movies that're so stupid they're funny (i.e. Billy Maddison, Dud Where's My Car)
005: being up early enough to watch the sun rise
006: breakfast pizza
007: wierd food combinations that're actually really good
008: Asian photobooths
009: good hair days
010: getting to the bus stop/train station just as the bus/train does
011: walking on the beach at night
012: the night sky (especially in the country)
013: all-nighters
014: late night/early morning d&ms
015: cloudy weather, English weather
016: Noel Fielding's accent
017: Noel Fielding's everything
018: 11:11
019: live music
020: second-hand bookshops
021: Melbourne
022: opp-shops
023: the Number 23 (movie)
024: road trips
025: people who genuinnely don't give a shit about their appearance
026: fmylife.com
027: perfecting songs on the piano
028: the first five seconds of The Word You Wield by Say Anything
029: my cat Hamish
030: the episode of The Mighty Boosh where they're stuck on a desert island with their coconut girlfriends
031: Ikea
032: coffee
033: croissants
034: the lemon meringue pies that my Mum sometimes makes
035: the apple pies my Nan sometimes makes
036: having smooth legs
037: The Perks of Being a Wallflower
038: Canon things
039: my Canon EOS 500 film camera
040: the anticipation of waiting for film to be developed
041: combatting fears
042: Polaroid things
043: thinking about my plans to live in England/Europe as soon as I have the money
044: double German every second Thursday
045: the thought that I have my whole life ahead of me
046: meaningful lyrics
047: random compliments
048: sincerity
049: being happy for no reason
050: the smell of hair dye
051: hair dye that comes with proper rubber gloves, not the shitty ones
052: Ordinary People by Judith Guest
053: being proactive
054: being organised
055: making a good first impression
056: guys that smell like Hugo Boss
057: kissing people with cigarette breah
058: noisy kisses
059: minimalist writing
060: red headed, pale, freckly, skinny, green eyed girls with hair that goes down to the small of their back
061: Sean Hughes
062: Ben Elton
063: celebrities who actually have something to say
064: day time TV
065: late night TV
066: Skins
067: Chris Miles' general outlook on life
068: tuna salad sushi
069: innuendos and insinuation
070: China town
071: Hong Fat BBQ
072: having wierd, elaborate dreams
073: my diary
074: randomly running into people you've been meaning to catch up with
075: changes of plans - for the bette r
076: the atmosphere at the Royal Adelaide Show
077: counting down the days until I go to Hamburg for 10 weeks
078: Ocean Grove
079: being alone sometimes
080: Frankie magazine
081: Hudsons
082: being missed by people
083: feeling wanted
084: feeling accepted
085: incense
086: the pretty parts of the Torrens - near the zoo etc
087: listening Robbie, Mareke and the Doctor while I get ready for school
088: Lindsay "the Doctor" McDougall
089: JJJTV
090: Sam Simmon's Shitty Trivia
091: Scott "Dools" Dooley
092: English culture
093: English boys
094: Harry Potter - the movies
095: Harry Potter - the books
096: Harry Potter - the character
097: awkward moments - that i'm not responsible for
098: awkward gaps in conversation - that i'm not responsible for
099: leaving school after the last day of the term/year
100: English slang
101: lying in bed listening to rain
102: white hot chocolate
103: tapirs
104: coffeeshops
105: when you get to the pedestrian crossing just as it goes green
106: well-dressed Asians
107: grey old days
108: rugging up
109: the number 9
110: going to live music and feeling the vibrations of the speakers as if the music's going straight through you
111: going to live music and having hot sweaty bodies pressed against you from every angle and you feel one with the crowd
112: getting things in the mail
113: secretly loving movies like Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging
114: standing up for the things I believe in
115: having morals and sticking to them
116: up-beat music
117: getting up when I'm ready to / waking up in my own time
118: having unlimited SMS's
119: memory lane
120: popcorn chicken
121: lying in bed awake at night, focusing on the music i'm listening to
122: having a good cry sometimes. letting it all out
123: the really old Looney Tunes cartoons
124: the concept of infinity
125: wondering what people on the other side of the world are doing right now
126: when things just, fall into place nicely
127: collapsing into bed after a long day
128: retail therapy
129: inside jokes
130: taking inside jokes too far
131: laughing until my cheeks are sore
132: waking up happy
133: falling asleep happy
134: all the video games I used to play
135: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets video game
136: The Sims 2
137: my favourite jeans
138: my favourite hoodie
139: my denim jacket
140: Julian Casablancas
141: having a shoulder to cry on
142: escapism
143: getting really into whatever book or movie I'm reading/watching
144: Georgia's grandparents house
145: Georgia's grandpartents granny flat
146: the house I stayed in in Robe
147: the house I stayed in in Kangaroo Island
148: Sailor Moon
149: theme songs from old shows like Sailor Moon and Captain Planet
150: trying to lucid dream
151: chocolate covered coffee beans
152: going to bed in a clean bedroom
153: finding cool stuff when you're cleaning your room
154: cooking dinner
155: cooking, in general
156: doing what I want, when I want
157: Daisy by Marc Jacobs
158: With Love by Hiary Duff
159: all Britney Spear's perfume
160: when you're tossing up whether or not you can be bothered taking your makeup off before bed, but you do and afterwards looking at the face-wipe and thinking 'Fuck, I nearly went to bed with that all over my face'
161: sleazy pick-up lines
162: random useless facts
163: the word 'diminutive'
164: the word 'prerequisite'
165: the word 'facade'
166: the name Oliver
167: the name Olivia
168: the name Declan
169: chihuahuas
170: Daria (the TV show)
171: just hanging out in my bedroom
172: movies with Zooey Deschanel in them
173: movies with Zach Braff in them
174: Scrubs
175: the janitor in Scrubs
176: plaid
177: rare moments when I'm actually happy with the person I am
178: Mr Bax (year 9 art teacher)
179: Mr Vickery (year 11 aus studies teacher)
180: Mr Sharp (year 10/11 german teacher)
181: sitting by the heater/fire
182: roasting marshmellows
183: ghost stories
184: having good ideas
185: when you spend ages trying to understand something, and then all of a sudden it finally makes sense
186: feeling one with everything
187: I Like Giants - Kimya Dawson
188: just spending time with my best friend
189: talking to him about what our appartment's gonna be like
190: naturally beautiful girls
191: green eyes
192: kissing people with lip-rings
193: creativity
194: Long Way Round
195: Long Way Down
196: that I have the ability to quietly slip into the background
197: catchy songs
198: actually going through with my crazy ideas
199: Luke Pritchard
200: John Lennon's message to the world
201: people with enough will-power to do the 365 Project on Flickr
202: Dove Body Silk mousturiser
203: Garnier Fructis everything
204: when you don't expect someone to know what you're talking about but htey do
205: Conor Oberst
206: the beauty spot on my stomach
207: Hey Arnold!
208: predicting what song's gonna come on next - and then being right
209: sleepovers
210: sitting in the sun
211: being called 'bub'
212: considerate people
213: Max Bemis' mannerisms
214: the way he sort of, pauses and shakes his head a little bit
215: Naboo
216: iPod solitaire
217: crazy American reality shows
218: being a little bit tipsy
219: obscure cultural references
220: being in a good moood just because
221: remembering something that you've been trying to remember for ages
222: seeing a movie/hearing a song that you heard ages ago but haven't been able to remember the name of
223: siamese cats
224: ugly dogs
225: everything else

Friday, August 14, 2009

Wow :)

FAITH NO MORE * MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE * JANES ADDICTION * AFI * PARAMORE
HIM *ALEXISONFIRE * TAKING BACK SUNDAY * TRIVIUM * SUNNY DAY REAL ESTATE * EAGLES OF DEATH METAL * THE GET UP KIDS * REEL BIG FISH * MESHUGGAH * ALL TIME LOW * A DAY TO REMEMBER * IT DIES TODAY * ESCAPE THE FATE * CLUTCH * ANTI FLAG * ISIS * GALLOWS * A WILHELM SCREAM * THE WEAKERTHANS * EMAROSA * ANVIL * THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA* COMEBACK KID * THE ALMOST *DANCE GAVIN DANCE * FOUR YEAR STRONG * YOU ME AT SIX * WHITECHAPEL *THE AQUABATS * ROLO TOMASSI * BARONESS * RX BANDITS * MAXIMUM THE HORMONE * THE CREEPSHOW

Thursday, August 13, 2009

I watched the news tonight.

How fucking depressing.

I miss the olddd Mitchell Davis videos.
Whatever.

I picked you

out, of a crowd and talked to you
I said I liked your shoes
You said, "Thanks, can I follow you?"
So it's up the stairs, and out of view
No prying eyes
I poured some wine
I asked your name, you asked the time

Now it's two o clock
The club closed
We're up the block
Your hands on me
Pressing hard against your jeans
Your tongue in my mouth, trying to keep the words from coming out
You didn't care to know, who else may have been you before

I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet him here but I'm not sure
I've got the money if you've got the time
You said it feels good
I said, "I'll give it a try."

Then my mind went dark
We both forgot where your car was parked
Let's just take the train
I'll meet up with the band in the morning

Bad actors with bad habits
Some sad singers they just play tragic
And the phone's ringing and the van's leaving
Let's just keep touching; let's just keep, keep singing

I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I've got a hunger and I can't seem to get full
I need some meaning I can memorize
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind

But you, but you
You write such pretty words
But life's no storybook
Love's an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt.
Do you like to hurt?
I do, I do
Then hurt me

Do you ever feel like

you're always looking at things but never really seeing them?
And do you ever feel like you're constantly missing out on something that everyone else is seeing?
Or is that just me.

I love Scott "Dools" Dooley

for twittering things like "Look At This Creep could become an Olympic Sport, do you have what it takes to become a champion? Find creeps and look at them"

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

ps

the wierd line breaks happen when i blog from my phone, and i have no
idea why D:

Dear friend,

I want to read all the books that he reads in The Perks Of Being a Wallflower, and listen to all the songs on his mixtapes. I want to know what he was listening to when he felt infinite because I want to get inside his skull, if only for a moment.
Love always, Charlie

"You know what?

Fuck beauty contests. life is one fucking beauty contest after another. y'know, school, then college, then work, fuck that. and fuck the air force academy. if i wanna fly, i'll find a way to fly. you do what you love, and fuck the rest."

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Sick and tired

of always being sick and tired. I think I need to trade my body in for a newer model, that'd be nice.

Shit. I hate.

doing homework when i'm sick, especially when i have 5 questions to answer, and answering the first one took up over half of the word count - fml fml fml fml. I want to sleep forever and just forget about school, year 12, uni.

Fuck, it is so impossible to break out of the
school > work > death
cycle that society has laid out.

Monday, August 10, 2009

ps:

I wish I could bring myself to care about things, but the truth is, I couldn't care less about anything any teacher or parent has to say to me. meh.

My heart hurts

and not in the romantic sense, in the "i have a stabbing pain in my
chest" sort of way.

The first rainbow I see will be my last.

bleurgh

frdskerfjsklwedewsklpwqdrtfjedkswelerjedfkweshkrtrfjvcndkweskfdrjefkioperjkdfswkldjekgntfrjesdovfgi3r4euhcvfdhyuwesdkjlrtijrtfyuidfuijdfc

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Whatever

is my way of saying "I don't want to talk about this any more"

I'm embarrassed

Appparently my photography teacher's been showing my portoflio from last semester to the year tens, aha.

Don't you just want to

hug all the contestants who the australian idol judges rip into! Fuck you kyle.I love Daniel Woodhouse!

Some photos of me

Reminds me of the best month of my life -

I hate

the morning after a date. I keep dissecting everything I did and said
wrong. sjrdjskjrkw

Saturday, August 8, 2009

*sigh*

i should get up off the couch that i slept on, have a shower and get
ready. But my eyes sting and i just want to is stay here watching video
hits and the sun rise
I don't know what i'm saying
I've been taking photos, of the sun rise, so maybe i'll post them later
on
And last night i encountered some of the most backward exremist
homophobes, and i was actually the angriest i've been in a long time. So
now i've calmed down i might properly blog about it when my eyelids
don't weigh 10000kg
I don't know what i'm saying.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Meow.

Today was good, & tomorrow's friday
^-^"

I'm obviously a true fan

If I can do this, haha :D
The first song from their new album is being released on the 31st! Srkjdjkdtkd :D

--- Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people you like and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)" ---


Pick your Artist:
say anythinggg.

Are you a male or female:
shiksa.

Describe yourself:
i used to have a heart.

How do you feel:
all choked up.

Describe where you currently live:
where the hurt is.

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
dreaming of manhattan.

Your favorite form of transportation:
slowly, through a vector.

Your best friend is:
colorblind.

You and your best friends are:
retarded in love.

What's the weather like:
alive with the glory of love.

Favorite time of day:
into the night.

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
it's a metaphor, fool.

What is life to you:
an orgy of critics.

Your last relationship:
we killed it.

Your fear:
rats.

What is the best advice you have to give:
total revenge.

Thought for the Day:
i will never write an obligatory song about being on the road and missing someone.

How I would like to die:
ants in my pants.

My soul's present condition:
no soul.

My motto:
that's that (do what we want).

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I

shouldn't have gotten out of bed today.

I'm so sore

for no particular reason.
Uh. All my blogs have only been a few sentences long lately. I can't concntrate on anything. I have too much homework. I don't really have much to say, fuck, I hate how much of my brain school takes over.
So, unless you want to read any blogs about arithmetic progressions, the functions of amylase, the influence of films in the 1930s, of mice and men, ...?
I can't wait for the weekend, I wanna fucking empty out my brain. It's gonna be good.
Blah.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

I wish I could stop myself -

but lately I just can't stop thinking about how we're all connected, but
at the same time we're all alone. It's wierd. I dunno.

Monday, August 3, 2009

My head -

weighs 100 kilograms right now.
My feet still hurt from my formal shoes, my back is sore, I can hardly
keep my eyes open and I want to skip school and just go straight to this
evening.
Just putting it out there while I wait for the train. I'm pretty sure by
now that I missed the usual one.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Oh, wow.

Reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower and listening to new music on my
ipod put me in the fucking greatest mood.
I feel so one with everything. I can't even explain it.
I'm so happy that things are finally beginning to go my way.

My year eleven formal was last night

It didn't turn out how I thought it would but it was really good.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

I don't know how I feel.

A lot of crazy things happened today and tonight. I don't think I've processed half of it - this morning feels like a week ago.

20 things about me -

(the first 20 i think of)
1 - I'm left-handed
2 - I'm supposed to wear glasses. I'm actually pretty blind without them.
3 - I started playing the piano about ten years ago.
4 - At the moment i'm contemplating taking a arts media degree at unisa - all I have to do is convince myself that i'd be good enough for it.
5 - I love my german class.
6 - I wear a lot of grey for some reason.
7 - I'm half german.
8 - I'm going to live in Hamburg for 10 weeks at the end of this year, as the second part of an exchange.
9 - I've been single for almost a year.
10 - I favourite too many things on flickr.
11 - I procastinate a lot.
12 - I'm really claustrophobic.
13 - I love traveling, a lot.
14 - I think that happiness is the most important thing a person can have.
15 - I'm very introverted and very quiet when I first meet people.
16 - I sneeze wierd.
17 - I probably AM wierd.
18 - I can't wait to move in with my best friend.
19 - My hair is naturally blonde and curly.
20 - I don't seem to get much schoolwork done, ever.

In the end -

it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, it's going to matter
how many moments took your breath away.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Do you ever

want to throw out everything you own and just start again?
Because i do. All the time.

Watch this, until the end

Personally I think it's reeally beautiful -

Me trying to explain why i prefer film photography -

I never used to. I used to be really into macro and bokeh photos, and really want a DSLR camera.
A few years on and now I love film. What I'd like to be able to do with my photography is capture the atmosphere of a candid moment - that's my goal. I think that's easier to do with film, somehow.


Okay, my thoughts are jumbled, I'll just make this into a list form here on in.
Reasons why film is better than digital:
- You get more quirks and imperfections on film, that can only be imposed onto digital photos - they aren't natural on digital photos
- I just think films more ... for lack of a better word, atmospheric
- Nothing beats the anticipation of waiting for film to be developed
- Film cameras are cheaper than a DLSR. It'd be nice to own a DSLR, but I'm sixteen and unemployed. So.
- It just seems more real
- If something goes wrong with your computer or whatever - all your photos are gone forever. Whereas I have a complete draw of film I've had developed.
- When you carry around a film camera, you're more careful of what you take shots of. Which, for me at least, seems to improve my photography
- There's probably more things, but I want dinner now

ps - I actually researched this blog! - and loved reading http://www.kenrockwell.com/tech/filmdig.htm :) - you might not if you aren't really into photography haha

-


I don't remember favouriting this on flickr - but apparentally I did.
My photostream - http://www.flickr.com/photos/38418183@N04/

There is this girl on my train

who I see every day after school. She always seems sad but today she's
smiling and it's beautiful.

Excerpt from my myspace blog.

And I quote, "the value of education is priceless. You should always be
doing something to stimulate your mind, whether it be reading, writing,
or just surrounding yourself with intelligent people and knowing what's
going on around you"
It never really stops, does it.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Writing this from my phone?

not sure how it's gonna look, but if it works, you can probably expect a
lot more blogs from me on public transport haha

Tim burton alice in wonderland?

Looks alright, i suppose. But can it seriously be better than this?

I don't think so, the original is fucking sweet!

Stumbled across this while writing a history assignment.

"There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, popular, or political, but because it is right." - Martin Luther King Jnr.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

The plan -

a) getting over whatever hormonal fucking teenage problems that my 16 year old brain thinks is the end of the world
b) GET A JOB, EARN SOME MONEY
c) BUY A GOOD CAMERA. To say that photography is my passion, would be an understatment. I can't even, begin to describe what it means to me. (I don't remember if I already talked about this in a blog, but) my beautiful film camera is almost broken. Fuck it, I'll buy disposable cameras until I can afford a new dslr and a new film camera. Because they're what I want, the most. I just want to document my youth. And then, document the rest of my life. I don't know, it's important to me.

Fuck, what the fuck

I am in one of those moods where everything's getting on my nerves.
My brother just cleared his throat and I wanted to scream at him for it. My shoulder's insatiably itchy, my hands are cold, my foot is dead, my head is killing me, and - at least for the meantime - I can't feel anything except negativity.
Fuck it, fuck everything.
I want to sleep and never wake up, fuck, I don't even have a shoulder to cry on, and that's all I need.

I think I could actually watch this forever


:)

Oh and if you want to follow me

tell me who you are, even if we haven't met?
kirsten_@live.co.uk, myspace.com/l_s_a_t_y_d, etc etc etc
Gotta run!

Well, this weekend

was pretty good, /shrugs
But now all i want to do is rest my aching joints, ah.
I feel, very alive.

Friday, July 24, 2009

July 2009

has pretty much been the best month of my life, I think. Maybe not the best month, but the month when I've appreciated it the most > have been happiest.
Wow. fuck. I want this to last forever.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

WANNA BLOG RIGHT NOW, I WANNA TALK ABOUT STUFF
but my mind's so empty, haha >_>"
well, not empty, more so full of things like arithmetic sequences and carbohydrases and characterisation.
did i mention that i'm back at school now? well i am.
wait i did mention it, didn't it.
or did i.
dinner's ready, cya!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Jack is obviously an amazing artist


Haha, this is his illustration of me making a bad first impression with someone.
In unrelated news, I happened to find an amazing music myspace last night (:
www.myspace.com/jackchambersmusic, he had better remember me when he's famous!
:D

Thing's im looking forward to

- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NOkQ4dYVaM
- German Alex's going away party
- Getting my L plates
- Seeing My Sister's Keeper with my beautiful friend Callum
- My year 11 formal
- Hopefully, getting a job in the near future
- Hopefully, going to the Jamie T concert in September
- Going to Hamburg for 10 weeks
- Moving in with my best friend

Today

was better than yesterday :)
Actually, it was really good. Surprisingly good.


Ps - in my journal book thing i'm working on a list - "1000 things that make me happy"
I have plans for what to do with it when i'm finished, it's gonna be great. You'll see ;)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Everyone i have ever loved,

moved onto greener pastures, in the end.

Monday, July 20, 2009

This will probably ended up being like an extended about me

Because, i'm just in that sort of mood. But i don't wanna think about my mood.
That subject was a shit idea actually, because now i have no idea what to write, haha.
I'll just write, because I can't deal with talking to people at the moment. Normally i'd be writing into my diary thing, but I can't really by fucked handwriting tonight. Um yes.
Um. So yeah. How about that weather, huh? I'll think of something to say pretty soon...

Sunday, July 19, 2009

I can't really stand

people who think every break-up is the end of the world. Get some fucking perspective.
Write more later, i'm busy atm.

Friday, July 17, 2009

I am going to kill myself

because my film camera's nearly broken! somethings wrong with it, at least
Ahh, you don't understand how much i love my camera :(

Monday, July 13, 2009

I'm at an internet cafe

in Geelong, I don't know how many minutes I have left so I'll make this brief.
My birthday was amazing, this holiday's been amazing. Amazing, I'm so fucking happy.
I just bought In Defence of the Genre, in case you didn't notice, I love Say Anything. I can't wait to get home and listen to it :D
And i'm flying home tomorrow night, I sort of miss Adelaide but don't tell anyone

Monday, July 6, 2009

My lingo

"that's insane" is a good thing,
"that's absurd" isn't.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

diminutive

such a beautiful word.

so it seems

I could listen to The Price - Dappled Cities
foreverrrrr and never get sick of it :)
My life is fucking increbile and I want you to know that I actually appreciate everything I have, unlike so many people.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Sejkrhsjsjk


I love this so much sdhdrjtrdk

uhh talking to a friend last night he told me to write a list of my top 20 movies. it was really really hard and i don't recommend you trying it, it will keep you up >.>
My list though, (not in any order):
1- Into the Wild
2- Winter Passing
3- The Go-Getter
4- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
5- Donnie Darko
6- The Good Girl
7- What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
8- Edward Scissorhands
9- American Beauty
10- Life is Beautiful
11- Mozart and the Whale
12- Running With Scissors
13- Girl, Interrupted
14- Funny Games
15- C.R.A.Z.Y.
16- Waking Life
17- Candy
18- High Fidelity
19- 28 Days Later
20- Garden State

i had a shortlist of about 60 movies, haha
and for the record, today was another incredible day of work experience (L)_(L).

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Top five most interesting things that happened to me today (in no order):

1 - On the bus home, the guy sitting across the aisle from me had a really obvious boner the whole bus-trip.
2 - At work experience (yes, new place today), I spent nearly two hours filing invoices - my OCD organised neat freak alter-ego took over and I loved it.
3 - I met the most appealing man in the world.
4 - I discovered a love for dragon eye tea - virtually no caffeine, a lot more antioxidants than normal tea = mega-healthy.
5 - Had a photo idea (not that it'll ever work out how I imagine it) but it's of a person, sort of leaning over, maybe into a toilet, and is either making a face as if they're throwing up or putting their hand in their mouth to make themselves throw up. But you know, not actually vomitinig. then in photoshop i wanna photoshop words to be coming out of their mouth. Get it? Word vomit? It's pretty lame.

today was incredible

but. i'm in a rubbish mood at the moment.
no, today was good.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

second day of work experience

same as yesterday essentially. the most interesting thing that happened today was going into a meeting with photographers, make-up artists, about a photoshoot that's happening tomorrow (after i leave, of course). yeah. the rest of the day was basically spent writing a report thing analysing three ads, 1210 words, and then basically refreshing myspace and looking through flickr. i think i must've added at least two pages of favourites bfeore my lunch break. tomorrow i'm going to a different advertising place, so hopefully i'll have something to do there haha.
so now i'm sitting here, should wash my hair, should delete photos off my camera, should be doing SOMETHING productive. i feel so dirty.
but whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

i have so many thoughts throughout the day that i'd like to put into blogs but i forget them. i have to start carrying around a journal or something, seriouslyyyy.
jesus i hate being bored.
this is my favourite photo that i found on flickr today -

okay that's it, i'm gonna go wash the day's dirt off of me.